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Post by River Hughes on May 3, 2020 20:16:07 GMT
River laughed quietly at his remark about sharks. "I know you wouldn't throw me to sharks, silly.
She paused, then continued softly, "It's funny, you know, you seem so confident and relaxed, but I guess at the end of it, you and I are afraid of the same thing--of getting attached to someone who won't feel the same way. I know this experiment is supposed to help us find someone who does, but it's a heck of a lot of pressure."
"Ugh, I feel like we both need a hug after dragging that out of us, but here we all with nothing but this dumb glowing wall." She huffed.
"Thanks for being honest with me, Parker. It means a lot," she confessed. "And thanks for being sweet about my anxiety, too. I just...there is always a whirlwind going on inside my head. I'm really working on it, I promise, I'm seeing a therapist and I take meds and stuff...it's just hard to train my brain not to automatically jump to the worst-case scenario." She laughed. "It would take me a while to start seeing the adventure, I guess."
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25Age
406Posts
Travel Blogger
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Post by Parker Domino on May 3, 2020 20:40:31 GMT
"I mean if you're not afraid of sharks, I will tell you I do plan on swimming with them, but like... in a shark cage," Parker added, completely serious about that fact.
"But hey, with the anxiety stuff, you gotta do what you gotta do for it, as long as you're getting all the help you might need" he said. "I imagine it's as hard for you to stop worrying as it is hard for me to start worrying and my parents always did say I have a nearly unhealthy lack of fear. You know that movie Inside Out? I feel like my fear dude is like tied up in a corner or somewhere or like passed out drunk or something."
Parker sighed, "Look I always figured I'd probably never find some crazy adventure person that's as wild as I am, and that's probably not a bad thing, because we would have a world ending prank war or something. I don't need to date myself, but I want someone who will stick with me through all the weird and just keep moving forward in big or little steps. I don't mind if your steps start out teeny tiny."
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Post by River Hughes on May 4, 2020 1:26:58 GMT
"Oh goodness. My little fear person is absolutely running the show, but sometimes the one for joy pushes her over and smashes the giggle button."
"The teeny tiniest steps," River answered in a high pitched 'teeny-tiny' voice, then laughed. "Well, swimming with sharks is probably a giant step. Start with dolphins, maybe? It's probably not a bad thing to push my boundaries a little, honestly. I'm willing to do it if you wanted me to. But if you end up finding that one of the other girls is ready to take the leap faster than me, that's okay too, you know. You're honestly such a sweetheart, I just want you to be happy. Even if that means that it's not me."
"Gosh that sounded really dramatic and final, I don't mean it to. I just mean...we're getting pushed to make decisions so fast, it feels like. And I don't want to make anyone feel guilty if I'm not on their list, you know?"
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25Age
406Posts
Travel Blogger
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Post by Parker Domino on May 4, 2020 7:50:32 GMT
"Hey I can't say I'm one of those knights in shining armor or anything... but I'd hold your hand for those teeny tiny steps if you want me to, and smash that giggle button a lot. Wow that sounded way better in my head." Parker said gallantly, "Plus, if you can swim already, that's more than a teeny tiny step. I'm low key embarrassed to say that I failed swim class twice when I was 7 because I was scared a shark was going to eat me."
"I gotta say, this whole thing is actually starting to scare me. I think I'm good at making lots and lots of little decisions really fast, but when it comes to really big ones, if I don't make it quick, I think I just chicken out or something," Parker confessed. "I've always thought love would hit me like a train or something and I've seen it happen to some of the guys here, but I just.. have a lot of feelings... and they're all over the place... and I don't want to make anyone disappointed or sad or anything."
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Post by River Hughes on May 5, 2020 1:46:44 GMT
"No kidding. I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt someone without even meaning to. This experiment could be a real gift, but it's also a little dangerous. We're playing with fire." River laughed breathlessly. "On the other hand, you're right. I was expecting it to hit me in the face, but instead, I think I can feel it creeping up on me...I just can't tell from what direction any more."
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