Third Date - Shaan & Trout

Trout sucked in a startled breath, pulling Shaan into a somewhat crushing hug once he figured out what she was implying. His heart raced, and he found tears were welling in his eyes. He bent his head next to hers, pressing his face into her shoulder as he fought the emotions that had just punched him in the gut.

"Shaan...I don't even know how to say that is the last thing you ever have to worry about scaring me away," He told her, his voice faltering slightly and thick with emotion. "I would never think less of you for that. My social anxiety has improved a lot in the last few years, but I totally get that mental illness is no joke. It fucking breaks my heart to know that you'd ever want to hurt yourself because all I want to do is protect you, but I'm not gonna disappear because of it."

He eased his hold a little but kept her held close as if somehow he could shield her from all that. "Is that still recent? Is there anything I can do to help? Triggers you need to avoid? I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can."

"God, it feels good to hear you say that. Not the bullet bit, I'll take that myself, but just to know that I really do make you feel safe and loved. That's all I want." He sighed, gently stroking her hair. "You're not messing this up, I promise. It honestly means a lot that you're trusting me with this, I know it can't be easy to talk about."

He was quiet for a long moment, just stroking her hair softly and letting her cry while he sorted out his thoughts. Finally, he spoke in a slow and measured voice.

"I think if we're really going to do this--which, of course, is totally up to you--I'd definitely want to work on making sure you take care of yourself. Like I said, I'm not saying you're bad, or that I don't want you because of this. What I am saying is that whether you agree with me or not, love, you deserve better than that. You deserve to be treated like a goddamn princess. Would you consider seeing a therapist or something? If we're married I can get you on my insurance, so you don't need to, like, worry about the price, or whatever. I just want to make sure that you're safe.

"I am still single because, honestly, people scare the fuck out of me. That's the simple answer. The last time I tried to ask someone out I literally puked." Trout answered dryly. Having some good friends has helped a fuckton, but my anxiety still gets the better of me. Business meetings are hell."

"Shaan Vladislav, I love you too," Trout answered without hesitation, and she'd probably feel him grinning like an idiot into her shoulder. "And fuck yeah you deserve to be happy without feeling guilty all the time. I'll do whatever I can to help with that. I know I can't just, magically cure you by caring about you, but I can definitely support you taking good care of yourself."

"As far as being sure, like I said, I'm there. I'm 100% certain. But I'm surprisingly patient as far as that goes. I want you to be sure, and I don't want to rush you into anything. I'm more than willing to wait all the way till day ten if that's what it takes--although going back to the Pods is gonna be a serious let down after getting to hold you."

"Tell me about it. I'm trying to save the non-PG for when we're safe from the cameras, but it sure as hell isn't easy." He laughed. "You can absolutely kiss me as much as you want, though, because I'm living for it. In the meantime, I'll try to think of some good fun facts. Uh. I'm 6'1, I have never played any sports because I am the least coordinated man I know. I can solve a Rubik's cube in less than five minutes. My life has been exactly the same boring routine for the last three years and I'm fucking lonely as hell. That's how I wound up here; when I saw the posting I just fucking jumped on it. I tried dating apps but never managed to actually meet up with anyone because I was too much of a coward to take it past the phone.

"Nah, I don't think I'll throw up with you. I'm not afraid of you--I feel like I can be myself and you actually like it, instead of thinking I'm just some weak-ass nerd who isn't manly enough."

Trout sighed into the kiss, returning it with a sense of urgency. His arms fell from their tight hug so that he could run his hands down her sides, coming to rest on her hips as she pulled away to make her comment about blankets from the dryer.

"Food, moths, blankets fresh out of the dryer, and leaving me breathless. Check," He echoed back, kissing her lips, then her jaw, then her neck as he listed items. "Any other favorites? Are you a chocolate candy person or a fruity candy person?" He asked as nonchalantly as he could, although a hint of mischief still made its way in as he tried to distract her by kissing the hollow of her throat.

"Pretty sure you could kill me without a stick. Oh god I just thought of something dramatic. I have to, sorry not sorry." He cleared his throat and put on his dramatic British accent again. "Shaan, you could kill me with an unkind word. Do but say that you do not love me, that your heart belongs to another, and I will wither in death." He laughed as soon as he'd finished. "But seriously, just because you could kill me doesn't mean you would."

"Oh, you're finding it difficult, hmm?" He teased, brushing his lips over her collarbone, "I'll tell you that's honestly the goal." He chuckled, and his fingers trailed back up her sides again more slowly, curious about the gaps in the tanktop. "Personally, Reese's Cups are a favorite. But I can definitely support chocolate pretzels. Good combo. I haven't actually watched any zombie movies, but I did play all the Resident Evil games and The Last of Us. Does that count?"

"I like a pretty random mix of music, pretty much anything that isn't like, country, but I listen to game soundtracks while I work. The one from Nier Automata is really good, but I'm always a sucker for Legend of Zelda. I don't have a go to drink, so we might have to work on that. Oh, and soft pretzels are the shit. Preferably with a little mustard."

Trout gritted his teeth when she wiggled in his lap, but managed not to groan this time. When she joked about 'Virgins in the Dark' he laughed and nipped at her neck, thoroughly enjoying himself.

"It does sound like a horror movie title, I'll give you that. But hey, I'm betting we'd still have a damned good time, broken nose or not. I'd live." He chuckled. "If you need me to stop, I can. I'm having fun driving us both insane, but say the word and I'll be hands-off.

"I recognized Three Days Grace, and MCR out of that list, and I know I like both of those. I'm gonna need a crash course in the soundtrack of Shaan, I think. Something tells me you have good taste. Let's see, I'm trying to think if there's anything else you don't know about me...Hm. I've got a custom-built gaming computer that lights up and shit, and I got an adjustable desk that goes up to be a standing one for when I'm working from home. My apartment is a one-bedroom, and it's all brick inside with some poured concrete floors which is pretty sweet. I suck at clothing so I pretty much wear jeans and t-shirts all the time...I add a blazer sometimes at work, or a flannel, but we have a pretty low key dress code since we're just I.T. dudes. No one really cares how we dress as long as the code is good."

"Fuck, Shaan," Trout swore, his long fingers pressing into where he still held her hips. "I guess I should have known you'd fight dirty." He added with a chuckle.

"Nah, no secret exes. I haven't actually...technically...ever dated anyone...like ever. I've been on dates...but never multiple with the same person." Trout confessed awkwardly; you could practically hear the cringe in his voice. "It's uh, not really my thing."

"That sounds pretty fantastic, honestly. I'm a sucker for fishnets. Actually, I'm kind of a sucker for girls who look like they might kill me or drink my blood, even with fictional characters. Wait a second....seeing as you could kill me, somehow I managed to do it even without being able to see it. Huh. Guess I have a type." He chuckled. "I'm a pretty predictable dude, save for my chaotic D&D playing. I dunno if I told you, but I'm always the guy who touches EVERYTHING because my friends are too damn cautious to do anything fun. So pretty much all my characters are cursed."

Trout groaned, tugging her hips a little harder against him as she kissed his neck. He took a deep breath to steady himself before he could talk again.

"Yeah, you're the first person I've like, seriously wanted to go on multiple dates with. I had more people on my list for yesterday because I felt like I had to." He shrugged. "But I'm definitely happy to be here with you, too," he agreed, trailing one hand down her leg to drag his fingertips over the texture of her fishnets on her thigh.

"I will give you tall and kind of dead--I always look like I haven't slept in thirty years...and I'm twenty-four." He joked.

"Dealbreakers? I guess I'd never really want to date someone who didn't like video games, or thought they were stupid, but we're already good on that front. Uh, hard drugs kind of freak me out, so I'd be a liiiittle concerned about that one but I don't know if it's a total deal breaker if someone had tried it before. Uh...OK, my one absolute dealbreaker is that I'd never want to date or marry someone that hit their kids. My mom only spanked us if we did something life-threatening, so we'd remember never to do that shit again."

"I get it, no worries. They're all good guys. Penn and I could be friends, I think. Parker and I...We don't really mesh, but I've got nothing against him. He's just...I dunno, he rubs me the wrong way. Maybe I'm just subconsciously jealous or something, but it doesn't seem like he's taking this seriously." He shrugged. "Sorry, don't mean to badmouth him. I'll shut up on that front, because I don't want to like, fuck with your opinions of anyone."

"Dude, shrooms are the one I'd try too, out of sheer curiosity. But I've never like, gone looking for that kind of thing."

When she mentioned lying to her, he shuddered. "Oh, hell no. I don't even like the white lie stuff because I just...can't. I'm the worst liar, and it just makes me feel...weird. Like, just thinking about it makes my skin crawl a little." He shook his head, then dropped his forehead to rest on her shoulder with a sigh. "At least that means I can promise I won't lie to you. The only thing I'd ever keep from you is like, good surprises...and I'm even shitty at that. My mom always knows what I got her for Christmas because I have no poker face."